Yep, more haunt blogging- 'tis the season- it's unavoidable. To begin with; this last weekend went off without a hitch.
Mostly.
Sort of.
Okay, so it wasn't so much a hitch-free weekend as a hitch-ful weekend, but we managed success despite it all. The weather forecast for the weekend was supposed to be a balmy seventy degrees with a clear Saturday and a sixty percent chance of rain on Sunday. And then it changed. We got rain on both days- conveniently just prior to opening both nights- and violent storms on Sunday. These brought on various power outages- thankfully only lasting about half an hour- but it was enough to wreak havoc.
The barn was leaking, the power was going on and off, the wind blew, and the cemetery flooded. I swear I saw an ark float by. Automated props set and reset themselves. Some became possessed and just ran at a steady frenetic pace. Rain dripped onto various props, tombstones blew over and tumbled like tumbleweeds racing about the graveyard (an awesome effect I will admit, but not necessarily one you can control), and the sign blew off the post on one side. We had a full cast, one over-worked make-up artist, and stress was running at an all time high. We were all running around like chickens with their heads cut off, mopping up the inside of the barn, cordoning off flooded sections of the cemetery, and praying that the power would in fact STAY ON. Just when I was about to give it up for a lost cause, the rain stopped, the messes had been cleaned, the automated props were behaving properly, the second make-up artist had arrived and everyone was ready. Crisis averted.
Sort of.
We might have been ready, but our guests were well delayed by the rain- the cowards. It was as if they thought they would melt if even on tiny drop of rain pattered upon their pretty little heads. We all sat in the break room in full regalia for nearly an hour waiting, checking our watches, and then waiting some more. I was just beginning to slip into the pit of despair when finally a steady flow of customers began to arrive and they kept on coming until a few minutes after close.
Success!
Now you have to understand, what makes us different from your average haunt is the fact that we are not your typical 'Boo!' scare haunt. We are in fact, as one person called us, a 'haunted experience.' Coming to our haunt is like stepping into a highly interactive play with an abundantly detailed set. We have exceptional actors who perform well beyond expectations- especially considering that they are volunteers. (We are a charity haunt with all proceeds going to any number of charities, therefore our actors are paid in pizza.) To create a haunt of this magnitude is a very expensive and time-consuming (year round) endeavor. Thank God for our sponsors and our volunteers!
Every year we make changes in order to keep the haunt fresh, especially considering we have a lot of return customers who come year after year, and this year has been no different. These changes keep the experience unpredictable so that even return patrons aren't quite sure what's going to happen next. This formula has been exceptionally successful for us, as we have had a high rate of customer satisfaction (so far this year 100%- knock on wood that it remains that way!). We try to provide an enjoyable experience as well as a good scare. And we have come a long way since the first year.
Having said this, the first year of our haunt the budget ran out (it's very expensive building all those wooden walls) and we were forced to make the last twenty or so walls out of fire retardant Visqueen- it's a heavy plastic material- think Hefty bag times a hundred. For the most part, this posed no difficulty. Until the woman who created her own escape route. Allow me to explain.
In the beginning- wrong story- ummm- not long ago we used to have an evil clown living in our dot room (alas he is no more). One particular lady apparently had clown fear. Extreme clown fear. Make that EXTREME CLOWN FEAR.
Anyway, this woman upon entering the dot room completely lost her mind. She began to run (against the rules, but hey, sometimes you just can't stop 'em), plowed through the first of several Visqueen walls, bounced off the second-which was indeed wood but didn't seem to slow her momentum any- spun around and completely ignoring the obvious hallway in front of her, burst through the next two walls landing just behind me INSIDE the ticket booth. She then screamed at me in terror, raced around the counter and flew down the drive whereupon she hooked a left and headed for sights unseen.
When the rest of her group finally came out- utilizing authorized routes- they were surprised to find that she wasn't there waiting for them. After a quick explanation from me, they headed for the car assuming they would find her there. Meanwhile, at the front of the house (home house not haunted house), my husband was coming out the door on his way to pick up the pizzas for the haunt cast, and low and behold this woman ran screaming by. She was stopping for nothing. He met the other people at the gate, explained that their friend was heading for Peru and they hopped into the car to chase her. Judging by her reaction, she might have been better off remaining in the asylum for some treatment…
It was last year when we had the oddest customer ever. This woman startled and screamed at everything. We've had people who were so shaky they literally screamed at inanimate objects- and by this I mean innocuous inanimate objects like candlesticks, spider webs, chairs, etc. Though, I have to admit, the lighting in some of the rooms is so bizarre that often even the chairs look shifty… Anyway, this lady was one of those. This would have been fabulous except she had the oddest scream we had ever heard. You could hear her all the way through the house and it was everything the cast could do to keep in character when she entered their rooms. Every time something startled her she would honk like a loud, angry goose. Literally. Boo! HONK HONK! Yah! HONK HONK! Thump! HONK HONK! You get the picture. She would follow this up with an emphysemac cackle. Now that I think about it, we should have asked her to work here…
We also experience the ever popular coming completely unprepared. We have had numerous teenage girls, accompanied by their boyfriends naturally, who have come dressed in short-shorts and teeny tiny tank tops, to stand outside in the fifty and sixty degree October weather at NIGHT and then complain it was too cold- how much longer do we have to wait? Really? REALLY? You expect me to control the weather because you were not bright enough to dress for the occasion?
Look little girls, I know you are trying to be sexy for your guys, but trust me when I say- 'cause I have seen this hundreds of times- your guy doesn't care what you are wearing. He's not even looking at you. In just a few minutes you are going to become little more than a meat-shield to him. Dress warmly, because when your boyfriend tosses you to the first scare (and he WILL) in order to create an escape route for himself, you will want more than Daisy Dukes to hide your peeing shame. And no, I'm not exaggerating. We have had a number of Biohazard spills over the years. Peeing is popular. And we almost had one vomiter- thank God she kept it in!
We also get nitwits who wear high heels and flip-flops. This is a haunted house folks- complete with a cemetery. You will be walking upstairs, downstairs, and in my lady's chamber. (I know most of you do not get that reference- I am showing my age with that one- but by God I'm keeping it for the chuckle from the forty plus crowd!) You will also quite possibly be slogging through some mud in the cemetery, (should it rain- frowny face) and at the very least, it's uneven terrain. Wear sneakers, boots, or some other appropriate footwear. You will be glad you did.
This past weekend my favorite group was a group of teenage boys ranging in age of thirteen-ish to seventeen-ish. Generally speaking, it's usually difficult having a group like this- usually they will do everything in their power to remain unaffected as if to prove they are tough and your haunt is less than haunty. By the time we reached the end of the tour, I was wearing at least four of these boys on my back and staggering through the haunt like a giant malformed turtle. I would venture a guess that the Doctor got the formula right… We are indeed haunty!
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